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I don’t want to get into the details of what happened. however, now, i will be disappointed. We’re looking for something that might not even want to be found. It was great, it really was, we fucked up big time and now we want to find it to have it for a little while longer, but what if it’s just not gunna happen? I think i might need to just get over it. It was fun while it lasted but this is the whole point for me, to take care of myself for a while. but then again, this could be part of taking care of myself. i don’t know. all i know is that Thursday is going to be a big failure but i don’t want to crush her dreams too cuz it wouldn’t be fair to the both of us. At least someone needs to keep the faith. 

This whole GradFest freaked me out a bit. But got me so freakin excited for my graduation and the next step in my life. So far 2013 has been good to me and I’m loving it everyday. I’m not gunna lie there’s been a couple of misses but I can’t even remember them. I had a feeling it would be good and like I said, it’s been good to me. So far I’ve stopped giving a fuck about other people who are unimportant to me, I’m working on myself physically, mentally, educationally, as emotionally. I’ve stopped looking for someone because I don’t need to have someone. I have my dear friends and my family to help me along and that’s all I need. I’m focusing on myself and if you’re gunna get in the way then fuck you. I’m excited for my future in SF and with my career but it would be stupid of me to say that I’m not scared shitless.

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